Ex- England captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-degenerating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the illness.
"There's something about confronting what lies ahead and hesitating to fully comprehend that at the present time," he commented.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing with his wife Annie, says rather he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his present wellbeing, his family and getting ready for when the illness worsens.
"Possibly that's surprise or perhaps I process things in another way, and when I have the information, it's more manageable," he continued.
Early Indications
Moody found out he had MND after observing some weakness in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the problem, a number of scans showed nerves in his brain and spinal cord had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately quite moved about it, but it's so strange because I sense that everything is fine," he added.
"I don't sense unwell. I don't feel sick
"My symptoms are quite slight. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be capable of doing all activities. And hopefully that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Illness Advancement
MND can develop rapidly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a one-third of people within a twelve months and more than half within 730 days of detection, as swallowing and respiration become harder.
Medical care can only slow decline.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," added an affected Moody.
"There's sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Family Consequences
Conversing from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We positioned ourselves on the sofa in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced cleaning the tears off our faces, which was quite silly."
Moody stated the emphasis was remaining in the now.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be very militantly directed on just welcoming and enjoying all aspects now," he commented.
"As Annie said, we've been truly lucky that the primary choice I made when I retired from playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as attainable. We don't get those periods back."
Athlete Association
Elite athletes are excessively influenced by MND, with studies indicating the rate of the illness is up to 600% elevated than in the general population.
It is considered that by limiting the oxygen available and creating damage to neural pathways, frequent, vigorous exercise can initiate the illness in those previously predisposed.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who won 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in honour of his fearless, relentless approach to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground altercation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a practice gear and commenced participating in physical contacts.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the line-out in the crucial passage of play, creating a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop-goal.
Support System
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a couple of other former players about his condition, but the rest will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that type of affection and recognition that people are present is the crucial thing," he stated.
"The sport is such a wonderful family.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even should it ended now, I've valued all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"Being able to call your enthusiasm your vocation, it's one of the most important honors.
"Having accomplished it for so long a duration with the squads that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will desire to support in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
